Memoirs of penggaram

Nice seats

2008-03-11T13:02:00.000+08:00

Nice seats...

Hahahahaha

A pissing Doraemon

2008-03-05T13:21:00.000+08:00

A pissing Doraemon...

Hahahahahaha

My blog is worth...

2008-03-04T12:09:00.000+08:00

My blog is worth $1,129.08.
How much is your blog worth?

Creative urinary cubicle

2008-03-04T10:52:00.000+08:00

Really creative...

Hahahahahaha...

Biggest Bra

2008-03-03T14:34:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahaha...

Biggest bra in the world...

*got it from forwarded email

G spot exist!

2008-02-21T13:28:00.003+08:00

Waiseh...

Good news is... G spot exist!

Bad news is... not all women has it...

Measuring...

2008-02-19T09:16:00.002+08:00

Measuring...

Hahahahahahaha :D

The best excuse for having an affair!

2008-02-01T16:17:00.001+08:00

The wife came home early to find her husband making love to a beautiful sexy young woman.

"You unfaithful, disrespectful jerk! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house and I want a divorce!"

The husband, replied, "Wait! Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened."

"It'll be the last thing I will hear from you, so make it fast, you cheating creep."

"While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so defenceless that I went ahead and allowed her into my car. I noticed she was very thin, not well dressed and dirty. She mentioned she had not eaten for three days. Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain more weight. When I served them to her, the poor young thing, practically inhaled them.

Since she was dirty I asked her if she'd like to bathe. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were worn-out and full of holes so I threw them away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you no longer wear because they're too tight on you.

I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you dont wear because I don't have good taste. I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you won't wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair.

After she dressed, I walked the young woman to the door where she turned around and with tears of gratitude streaming down her cheeks, she asked me, "Sir, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"

Ahahahahahahaha

Buzzing undies

2008-01-27T02:38:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahaha....

Hello Sooty

2008-01-26T00:56:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahahaha

Last advice

2008-01-09T13:55:00.001+08:00

A friend send me a msn msg...

Former Health Minister's last piece of advice on tendering his resignation:
"For safe sex, don't wear condom. Wear face mask!"

Wahahahahaha....

Animals

2007-11-11T02:32:00.000+08:00

Got this in my email...

No eye see...

Wahahahahah :D

Vending machine

2007-09-24T21:27:00.001+08:00

This is...

Ermmm....

One of the vending machines...

Available everywhere in Paris, France...

Muahahahahha....

No wonder Paris is such a "lovely" and romantic city... :D

Hundreds seek services of prostitutes

2007-09-04T09:44:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Star...

FOREIGNERS continue to swarm the alley behind Jalan Petaling in Kuala Lumpur seeking the services of prostitutes.

Harian Metro reported yesterday that it was a normal occurrence for hundreds of foreigners to gather in the alley like they were having a “sex party” there.

It said that the 200m-stretch of prostitute dens, believed to be the oldest in Kuala Lumpur, was filled with Myanmars, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Indonesians and Nepalese.

In a three-hour check by the tabloid, it found that charges were as low as RM40, which caused some foreigners to be willing to queue in long lines for their turn.

They were seen crowding the area from as early as 8am.

The area became busier at 11am, when they entered the dens in groups.

The tabloid said that while the customers were made up of foreigners, the prostitutes were locals.

It added that customers came from as far as Hulu Selangor, Malacca, Perak and Seremban for “entertainment,” and to meet up with friends from the same country.

Wahahahaha...

Welcome to Malaysia... Visit Malaysia Year 2007!

How do you know when u have too much Net Big2

2007-08-29T16:51:00.001+08:00

How do you know if u played too much of Net Big2 a.k.a. "chor dai di"?

Well... you will know...

If your cards...

Do this...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Wahahahahaha.....

Dirty jokes

2007-08-21T10:35:00.000+08:00

Schoolgirl:I do not want to take the sex Education class.
Teacher: Why?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral.
...
A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary: If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?
Secretary: Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties.
....
Girl: Mom, what is a penis?
Mom: When you become a good girl you will get one.
Girl: But mom what if I am not a good girl?
Mom: Then you will get many!
.....
A Sad story.
A woman's husband died & she had him cremated. She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said " Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you".
.....
To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To let it in she pushes it. True?
Threading a needle is not easy.
..............
Women's lives are hard.
Morning wash clothes.
Noon hang clothes.
Evening keep clothes.
Nite iron clothes.
Midnight take off clothes.
After midnight find clothes
.............
After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: Why? Want to have sex again.
Thai Girl replied: No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before.
...............
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know"
Girl replied" Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover"
..........
Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick"
Boss:" When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it"
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house.
...............
Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought

More

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

See anything?

2007-08-10T09:22:00.000+08:00

Can you see anything here?

Ok ok... closer abit... can you notice anything unusual...?

Cannot ah? ok ok... closer again...

Still cannot? aiyo... wear specs la....

Ok ok... i give u all closer look...

Wahahahahhaa..... :D

Closest.... hahahhahaa...

STIM? :D

Woman fed up with kinky husband

2007-08-10T09:21:00.000+08:00

Got this story from The Star...

KEMAMAN: A 45-year-old woman, claiming her husband has developed an appetite for “kinky sex”, has lodged a police report in which she alleged that he had sodomised and abused her.

She alleged her husband's perverted behaviour started after he watched some pornographic movies.

In her report at the Cukai police station here yesterday, the housewife said he first sodomised her at a hotel in Cukai at about midnight on July 8.

He had persuaded her to follow him there after promising her a romantic night.

He had since sodomised and sexually abused her again on two other occasions, once at their home and then at another hotel.

The couple had married several years ago after separating from their earlier spouses.

Kemaman OCPD, Supt Wan Abdul Bari Wan Abdul Khalid said the police expect to detain the man soon.

Many flocking to sex paradise Karimun

2007-08-10T09:20:00.000+08:00

Got the story from The Star...

KARIMUN Island, in Indonesia's Riau province, has emerged as a sex paradise for Malaysians and Singaporeans, the Sin Chew Daily reported.

The island, which is full of brothels with about 2,000 prostitutes, received 94,422 Malaysian and 98,711 Singaporean visitors in 2006, tourism officials said.

Many of the prostitutes are from Kalimantan and Java, with the youngest about 16 years old.

Despite police raids and the arrest of a number of pimps, the paper said the brothels continue to operate and visitors continue to flock there.

Located south of Johor and Singapore, Karimun is just an hour's boat ride from the island city-state and visitors are offered a sex package the moment they land.

Many arrive on Saturday morning and return the next day.

A retired businessman said that whenever he visited Karimun, he would tell his family that he was outstation playing mahjong.

Hello Ah Ma!!

2007-07-30T16:34:00.000+08:00

A China pumpkin girl was visiting New York,went into a worldwide message center wanting to send an urgent,important message to her mother in China. The Italian guy at the counter told her it would cost around US$100/=. She exclaimed, " I don't have that kind of money,but I will do anything to get a message to my mother in China !"
The Italian smiled, arched an eyebrow and asked, "Anything?" "Yes, I promise...anything!" she said. With that, the Italian said, "Follow me."

He led her to the next room and said, "Come in and close the door."
"Get down on your knees!" he ordered. She did. "Unzip me!" he said. She did.
Then he said, "Go on...take it out." She did and grabbed it with both hands excitedly.

The Italian closed his eyes and & whispered, "Go ahead girl, what are you waiting for?
"Ms China pumpkin girl slowly brought her lips closer and said loudly, " "Hello....hello Ah Mah!!!..can you hear me??"

CondomSmart bedsheet

2007-07-30T14:42:00.000+08:00

Wahahahaha....

Saw this bedsheet in Jusco the other day...

Good idea eh....

Wahahahahhaa...

Photos from Macau - Part 1

2007-07-23T12:02:00.001+08:00

This is shot in Macau...

Muahahaha.... STIM!

*photos courtesy of my ex-kolig, Joey

Photos from Hong Kong - Part 2

2007-07-23T11:59:00.000+08:00

This is also taken in Hong Kong... Tung Choi Street a.k.a. Women Street...

Muahahaha....

It is also available in Rotterdam market... :D

*photo courtesy of my ex-kolig, Joey

Photos from Hong Kong - Part 1

2007-07-23T11:44:00.000+08:00

These photos are taken in Hong Kong...

Muahahaha.....

*photos courtesy of my ex-kolig, Joey...

The story of 6 affairs

2007-07-11T12:33:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha... this is funny... :D

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied,
"I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon."
She looked down at his shoes and said:
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"

----------

The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
But always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
"Not this time!"

----------

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented,
"I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home
"I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed,
"Schwartz is dead!"

----------

The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you,"
she said, " pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied,
"the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."

----------

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir , that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
"How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied:
"Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied:
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

----------

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to, " his wife replied.
"No," he insisted,
"I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied,
" now just rest and let the poison work."